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Jacqueline Abelson

The Side Effects of Coming Home for the Holidays

12/18/2013

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So you’re a college student smacked dab in the middle of finals week. 

Since the very moment that you got here in September, you’ve been counting down the days, hours and minutes . . . 

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You’ve even circled the date in your calendar over and over . . .
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Because that time of year is coming . . . 
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And it’s time to announce this to everyone of your college friends:    
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So that you can FINALLY be reunited with your loved ones over the Holiday season:
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But once your parents pick you up from the airport or the train station and bring you back home, you notice something. 


There is something different about the house, your parents, your friends and the entire town that you used to grow up in. 


You can’t really put your finger on it, but it almost feels like you ended up in a parallel dimension. 


Because you swear to God that when you left for college your room was painted an eggshell white instead of a lemon chiffon yellow. 


What’s going on? Why do you feel like every thing has slightly changed since you’ve returned from your first year of college?

Well my friend, from what you’ve been describing, these seem like the clear symptoms of coming home for the holidays.   

So if you have been diagnosed with this particular symptom, here are some things that you’ll most likely encounter after coming home after four long months:



1) YOU'VE CHANGED
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Obviously!

You’ve just spent four full months going out when you want, eating what you want, wearing what you want and doing what you want. 



And let me tell you something: YOU LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! 


And while you might have felt slightly more independent during your senior year of high school, you’ve definitely become more freethinking and individualistic since starting college. 


So when you come home, you may not be aware that you’ve just spent four months of your life in a different environment, exposing yourself to different people and places. 


More so, that kid who walked out out the door to go to college will come back home as a totally different person. And while you may think that just because you did something in college that it then gives you every right to do that same thing at home. You have to be considerate of the fact that your newfound independence is also new for your parents as well. 


So don’t be surprised if your parents say no to driving out at 2 a.m. or drinking four Heineken bottles of beer before bed. In addition, it’s totally normal for your parents to ask you to wash the dishes after dinner and taking out the trash, even when every bone in your body is telling you not to. 




2) YOUR OWN PARENTS HAVE CHANGED
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But how?

How could the people who have raised you for your entire life suddenly change?

Did you forget that you left them to go to college?

Understandably, your parents had to adjust to your absence, so when you returned home and started to act more independently, your parents were also forced to adjust to your new sense of autonomy. 



They don’t know what your talking about when you say that, “You were dancing with Molly for the entire month of October.” They might ask about Molly and if she is a nice girl, which might lead into a very awkward situation. After all, you did say that you were seeing another girl by the name of Mary Jane for a while. 


Some things are inevitably going to need to work out when you return under your parents roof. Additionally, your parents really, really, really missed you. In fact, they missed you so much that they start treating this upcoming holiday almost as if it’s like baby’s first Christmas. So don’t be surprised if they start acting like it’s your first everything. First time back home, first time watching TV, etc. Your parents are going to be treasuring every moment that you’re here over the holidays before you go back to school. 


They may seem more talkative to you compared to when you lived with them as a senior in high school. In addition, as much as you would love to see your old high school friends again, your parents will be doing everything in their power to keep you a second or two longer just ask if you have been enjoying college. 


Just like how you want your parents to be understanding about your needs to reconnect with your childhood home, try to be understanding of their needs too.




3) YOUR SIBLINGS HAVE CHANGED
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Whether they’re younger or older, your siblings may have to readjust to your presence.


Remember how you were the bossy one who always brought your siblings down with just a single word? 


Well, bad news for ya. Someone has stepped into your shoes and now you're the one who has been dethroned. 


You may want to strangle them, but just remember that you can always reclaim your right to be the king of the castle with a little patients a bribe here and there. 





4) YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHANGED
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So your best friends from high school are all planning to get together when you come back from school. When you arrive though, everyone seems so different. You feel like you are having dinner with a bunch of strangers rather than your Calculus math buddies. 


You always thought Britney had a strict rule when it came to alcohol, I mean you’ve never seen her drink a sip in your life. But now as you sit across from her, she is listing off all of the beverages she had chugged down during her first semester. 


You would never imagine in million years that Taylor would pledge himself to a fraternity. He always seemed like a quite guy, but you’re taken aback when he recalls his initiation ceremony and “the paddle.” 


You find yourself thinking just how much these friends of yours have really changed. But you also have to remind yourself that you too have changed as well since starting college. It’s only normal to expect that your high school friends are a little different than what they were before. 


And remember, that no matter how crazy you and your friends get, you’ll never lose the common thing that you share between each other: Calculus math. 





So all in all, you’re not crazy if you come home from your first semester of college to find that the people and relationships that you’ve established in high school have changed.    

If anything, it gives you a better sense of the world around you and what to expect in the future. 




So be happy with yourself about being back home:  
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Be grateful that you are reunited with your family: 
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Be satisfied with your siblings:  
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Be crazy with your friends: 
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And enjoy the holiday cheer: 
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