Game of Thrones University

With premiere of Season 4 of Game of Thrones fast approaching, I thought it would be fun to figure out which characters on the show would’ve attended a university in our world based on their personalities. So if you would join me, we’ll take a little break from the world of Westeros, trade in that Iron Throne for a diploma and leave the three eyed crows behind for some lectures.

This is college we’re talking about.



Jaime Lannister

Jaime is a perfect fit for Harvard. With a university with strong academics, highest worldwide prestige of any American university and with a vibrant intellectual atmosphere, Harvard is the place to go for you to boast about how “great” your school is. And everyone knows that nobody is better at boasting about how "great" they are than the "Kingslayer" himself. Just like how everyone knows that the people who attend Harvard consider themselves "the big man on campus," everyone knows that Jaime Lannister is a force not to be reckon with. With a name like the "Kingslayer" you know that everyone will have high expectations for him. Hell, his claim to fame is that he slew mad King Aerys. At Harvard he's going to need more than a sword to slay through Medieval Empires 101. And now with his hand chopped off, that midterm paper isn't going to write it itself. If anyone can handle the pressure of the top Ivy League school in the nation with just one hand, then leave it to the "Kingslayer" to get the job done. 



Tywin Lannister

Just like Harvard, Yale is among the world's most acclaimed, aspired-to and competitive university. SO competitive in fact, that this might just be where Tywin Lannister would have attend. Yale always is ready to challenge the other universities – or you know, killing them too – and if Yale had taught Tywin anything, it is that they taught him how to be one intimidating son-of-a-bitch. This "I'm hot shit" attitude originates from Yale's most prized quality, which is their pride. A trait that seems to resonate pretty well with Tywin. After all, the most important thing in the world to him is to have the House Lannister be respected and feared. This seemed to be a goal he prioritized above all else. How ironic that the son that he hates most (Tyrion) is actually the one with the best chance of keeping his family on top, but can never accept him? Not to mention that he takes ALL THE CREDIT of winning the battle at Blackwater between Stannis' army in the end of Season 2 when really Tyrion led and won the battle. Man, what a douche! Thanks Yale!

Daenerys Targaryen

Far from Westeros and across the Narrow Sea, is a place where a one woman is destined to rule. Or you know, across the Atlantic Sea and in England – there is a university where the Mother of Dragons would have attended. Just like her Targaryen family, Oxford University is the oldest university in the world and has been in existence for the past nine centuries. Some of the greatest world leaders were alumnis of Oxford, and Dany is determined to be one of them. When her father, King Aerys was ousted from the Iron Throne during Robert Baratheon's rebellion, Dany's mother escaped safety on Dragonstone Island, where her daughter was expected to live in exile in the East. But after being sold into marriage, having her dragons kidnapped and sacking an entire city, Dany is willing to do ANYTHING to prove to anyone that she is fit to reclaim her throne. It was often said that the Targaryen kings tended to be either madmen or brilliant rulers, and Dany seems to have inherited a natural gift for leadership as her birthright. A trait that Oxford would be willing to exercise and teach through their world-class reputation for academic excellence. More so, Oxford offers their students accommodations for every year of their courses, helping them save money. But Dany was already way ahead of the game. She offered to trade one of her dragons, to settle her accommodations, but the school throughout better of it. And rightfully so. 


Jon Snow

If America was the Kingdom of Westeros, then that would make the border of the U.S. and Canada, The Wall. And nobody really knows what actually goes on in Canada. At the sametime Jon Snow knows nothing from what we've learned about him. Yet, if he enrolled at McGill University, then we might be convinced that he at least knows SOMETHING. At McGill University – in Canada and beyond The Wall – the college holds a similar reputation to that of the Night's Watch. It has an incredible faculty (like the brotherhood of nobel warriors sworn to defend the realm) but it also is a facade for the major issues that bother the students who attend this university. The classrooms are poorly equipped for the modern student, and the residence halls are in a state of disrepair and neglect. Sounds like a modern version of Castle Black, where the Watch (in reality) is merely a dumping ground for criminals and wastrels. It holds a status as the number 1 best university in Canada (the Harvard of Canada's universities) and ranked number 21st in the world. But in recent years, McGill has found itself walking a very narrow line between the demands of their students to lower the universities' tuition. There hasn't been any significant effort to better the lives of the average student. And just like how in the good old days when the bards of Westeros would sing of the bravery of the Night's Watch, the tales of their bravery diminished over the years. Thus leaving Jon Snow with a somewhat less romantic encounter of the Night's Watch, which is now undermanned and often overwhelmed with vast responsibilities. Hopefully Jon Snow can see beyond McGill's lack of appreciation for their students.


Margaery Tyrell

It is said that Margaery Tyrell is as beautiful as she is clever, which fits perfectly with the description of the intelligent ladies who attend Mount Holyoke College. Mount Holyoke College was the first institution in the all-female Seven Sisters league, and have remained as the oldest all women's college in the U.S. for 177 years. So for a college that has taught thousands upon thousands of women over the past century, YOU know that THEY know how to play their cards right when it comes to men. And Margaery Tyrell is the queen when it comes to playing up her looks. She chooses her words wisely in order to avoid bringing suspicion down on the House of Tyrell and to assuage people's egos and tempers. In other words, Margaery Tyrell is one conniving badass bitch who knows how to use men to her own advantage. With that being said, the students at Mount Holyoke College, like Margaery Tyrell, are confident, (thanks to Mount Holyoke being ranked number 1 in "best classroom experience" according to The Princeton Review ) beautiful, (ranked number 7 for most beautiful campus) and realistic (75% of of Mount Holyoke graduates enroll in graduate/professional schools after graduation). When you're a women like Margaery Tyrell living in the seven kingdoms, life can be very cruel and violent. Mount Holyoke students would understand this because they too are aware of what life can be like living in the Pioneer Valley, and sharing their education with four other colleges in that area – Smith, Amherst, UMass and Hampshire. But the only challenge that the students at Mount Holyoke have to face is whether or not they will make it to the PVTA bus on time to their 8:35 basket-weaving class at Hampshire. But lucky for Margaery, she just happened to be born into the right kind of family – and had enrolled into the right kind of college. What other college would teach her to tame the rowdy UMass students? Or intimidate the preppy jocks from Amherst? Margaery is careful to find out what kind of temperament her men possess – mainly, Joffrey's temperament. After all, Margaery is not about to let herself be mentally or physically abused by Joffrey or any man. No Mount Holyoke student would allow that! Margaery gets her cunning stealth and works her magic on Joffrey. Mount Holyoke College had definitely taught her well. 



Tyrion Lannister

Despite his size, Tyrion in our time would be hailed as a Playboy. Though his opponents refer to him derisively by various names – "the Imp" and "The Halfman" – Tyrion plays it cool by reminding others of his intellect and his family's wealth and power. So what better place for Tyrion to enroll in than University of Virginia. Back in 2012, the college wasn't too thrilled to discover that UVA was listed as the No. 1 party school in America. Kind of like how the Lannisters are not too thrilled with Tyrion, the officials at UVA want to stress the notion that their university should be recognized for their academic achievements in teaching and research. But honesty, isn't it okay if your school is known to be a little fun but intelligent at the sametime? That's exactly why Tyrion would be a perfect fit! He is capable of extreme cunning and takes calculated measures against his enemies, but more importantly, Tyrion is one person who has been through all kinds of highs and lows in his life, but his spirit remains undaunted, unbroken, and fearless, making it easier for him to retain a sense of humor. So UVA, raise your glass for your fellow alumni, Tyrion, because we all know that Tyrion knows a thing or two about raising glasses and having a good time.


Jorah Mormont 

Ser Jorah Mormont – or as many people prefer to call him "King of the Friendzone." After all, it isn't easy being in love with Daenerys Targaryen, the Mother of Dragons (and graduate from Oxford University).  No matter how many adventures they go through, Jorah can't seem to confess his feelings for Dany. And Dany (though I love her to death) remains completely oblivious of Jorah's feelings for her. But lets be honest here for a second, Jorah could never compete with Khal Drogo . . . or that hunky guard Daario Naharis. So for the sole purpose of Game of Thrones as a whole, it is pretty safe to say that Jorah will be FOREVER FRIENDZONED by Dany. And no other college does a better job of reminding you that you are the "King of the Frienzone" than King's College itself. King's College was established on the basis that the religious and social nature of the universities in England (most notably, Oxford) solely educated the sons of wealthy Anglicans such as royal nobles – like Dany! And King's was developed as a college for the non-religious and upper-middle class families – like Jorah! Thus King's College represented a Tory response to reassert the educational values of the English people. It's an excellent university but could never compete with the pristine values that Oxford holds, which sadly means that they can never be together. Like, EVER! However, that does not mean that King's College and Oxford from time to time will acknowledge each others strengths. But alas, King's College would love to be apart of Oxford's world. And even though King's College and Oxford will never be seen equally as one, it doesn't mean that their students are a sucker for the chase. 


Cersei Lannister

Aside from being the Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms in Game of Thrones, Cersei Lannister also invented her own rules for playing the game of thrones. In her famous speech to Eddard Stark in Season 1, she states, "When you play a game of thrones, you win or you die." And boy, was she right! After all, Cersei is not afraid of taking drastic measures to enforce the rules of a game of thrones, she takes risks and those risks pay off. Sounds a lot like the ladies at Wellesley College. Wellesley – like Mount Holyoke – is part of the original Seven Sisters and is a liberal arts college that prides itself on the loyalty that is shared among the women who enroll as under-graduates. The women who graduate from Wellesley look back on their college experience as the main focal point of their lives. Not to mention that they would do anything for their wonderful school. Their students are just as devoted as Cersei is to her family. So what if people see her as an "evil blonde?" Cersei knows how to protect herself and the people that she loves the most – mainly, Jaime. At Wellesley, the students there look out for each other and would do anything to protect their fellow Blue students. What's the saying? Blood is thicker than water? Once a Wellesley student ALWAYS a Wellesley student. Rated number 7 as the best college in the U.S. according to US News Education, the women who enroll at Wellesley are calculatingly clever. If the students there have a goal, then they set their mind straight on that goal. No wonder that this would be the perfect place for Cersei to attend. She doesn't allow anything to distract her from the prize in front of her, power over the Iron Throne. And the best part is, she doesn't let anyone intimidate her from her main objective. She intimidates THEM! Like good Wellesley students she steps up to the plate, protects her own kin and strives to achieve her own agenda. But there is also that saying that, "Wellesley girls will marry Harvard men." Haha! Like that has any truth to it. Oh, wait . . . . 
(See top of the page). 


Sansa Stark

In defense of Sansa Stark, her actions – while being somewhat "held captive" at King's Landing – are understandable even if people don't agree with them. She is not only a sympathetic character, but a strong character who manages (by some grand stroke of luck) to survive an extraordinary difficult situation. She keeps her cool as she watches her own father get beheaded, constantly gets abused by Joffrey, and is forced into marriage. So while Sansa is thrown into this God-awful situation, while being completely unaware of the massive conspiracy that would essentially cause a small revolution, SHE STILL KEEPS HER COOL! There is only one group of girls who can handle that much manipulation by multiple people, and still manage not to crack under the pressure. SORORITY GIRLS. Which is why Sansa would be a perfect fit for University of Texas at Austin. UTA has one of the best Greek atmospheres in the U.S., and a critical part of surviving the brutal environment of a sorority is knowing how to judge other people's character. Sansa – while it might seem hard to accept – is an excellent judge of character. Admittedly, Sansa is not someone who is armored with guile and awareness, but she does immediately showcase her ability to use what she has been taught in high pressure situations. How else is she suppose to survive UTA's "rush week?" All her life, Sansa has been brought up to act like a lady and a loyal subject to the crown. No matter which sorority invites her to join the house, Sansa will know how to survive an environment full of backstabbing bitches.


Stannis Baratheon

In the beginning there were three Baratheon brothers: Robert, who became King of Westeros after the defeat of mad king Aerys. Stannis Baratheon who is crabby as hell and Renly Baratheon, who was charming. So once King Robert got boar-gored and died, Stannis laid claim to the Iron Throne knowing that his older brother had no legitimate children (because Joffrey is definitely NOT Robert's son by a long shot). But instead, the entire country of Westeros goes crazy. Renly decides that he wants to be king until Stannis kills his brother off by some shadowy-weird-REALLY WEIRD-magic, and nearly conquered the capital of Westeros if his men hadn't been defeated at Blackwater. But even though he lost the battle, he is still in the running of winning the war. This guy just WON'T give up. He's not a quitter, but you do have to admit that some of the actions that he has taken to win this war are pretty questionable, if not, then daring. Which is why Cornell would be great for Stannis. In 2012, Cornell University was rated as the most stressful Ivy League college to attend. And what could be more stressful than experiencing some first-hand post-traumatic stress after escaping finals than trying to take over an entire country? It's FREAKING HARD! But Stannis is a dedicated worker. He constantly thinks about military matters. Have you seen that big map table that he has? He puts in so much overtime planning military campaigns that he sleeps on that thing. If he won't give up on the war, then what makes you think that he'll give up so easily at Cornell? Cornell is the epitome of high-strung, but will that bother Stannis? Come on, the guy killed his own brother with some "smoke demon" that he sired. I think he can take on that kind of academic pressure. For God's sake, where he lives is almost the same environment as where Cornell is located in Ithica, New York. He lives in a cave that has dreary weather and deep, nearby gorges. Doesn't exactly help lighten the mood, but what does Stannis care? He wants to be king!



Gendry

So how many of you guys were hoping that Arya and Gendry would get "shipped" together? Apparently, a lot. Gendry – as it seems – is the ONLY GUY on Game of Thrones that isn't an asshole! Gendry is a bastard son of King Robert Baratheon, but is unacknowledged and unaware of his lineage. Which means that technically, Gendry is more of a legitimate heir to the throne than that incest-bred asshole, Joffrey. Also the fact that Gendry isn't aware of his parentage makes him less of a jerk than the other men on the show. He is a man of principals, and when he discovers who Arya Stark really is, he treats her with the upmost respect and says to her, "You wouldn't be my family. You'd be my lady." Which is the nicest thing any man on this show has ever said to another female cast member when you think about it. And where do these nice guys go for college? Colgate University! Colgate is notorious to be a hub for attractive and fun groups of people. Everyone at Colgate is smart and driven, and even as they attend their classes and submit their homework, Colgate students still manage to have a good time. So while Gentry travels north on the Kingsroad with the other recruits for the Night's Watch, he manages to display some optimism by befriending Arya. Hell, he even goes out of his way of being a complete gentlemen and standing up for Arya when some of the boys in Kings Landing harass her about her sword. So even though Gendry might have a bounty on his head for being Robert's bastard son, Gendry still manages to have some fun and be serious about his future at the same time. It's called being well-rounded, and that's exactly what Colgate students are.

Arya Stark

It is obvious to say that if Arya Stark should graduate from college, she would receive her bachelors is badassery and swordsmanship. In her own right, Arya is a very strong and complex character. She deals with a constant struggle to find her own identity amongst the traditional gender roles of Westeros. She hates being a Lady, but finds a deep love for swords and all things dangerous. Hands down, she's very intelligent but is mostly overlooked. Sort of how Rice University is viewed. But even though Rice bares a type of "overlooked quality," it is this trait that makes it one of the strongest and best universities in the nation. Rice, on average, has 3,810 undergraduates, which (when you think about it) is pretty damn tiny for a university. On average BIG universities such as USC or UMass have around either around 18,316 or 21,373 undergrad students. Yet, Rice is in the middle of Houston, Texas. So in a way, Arya herself is a small university living in the big world of Westeros. Even though Rice University is mainly well known in Texas, the university is quite well known by anybody who is affiliated with the "Top 20 College in the Nation" instead of the basic "Top Ivy League Schools." In other words, even though Rice is not a nation-wide household name, it is still known by anybody who recognizes Rice for what it actually is: a Southern Ivy League university. Yes, it's small (we've already established that), but Rice University is full of the same surprises that Arya has on Game of Thrones. She's overall, tough, a feature that makes Arya stand above all the rest of the characters on the show. She's not afraid to back down from anyone (just ask Joffrey) nor is she afraid to stand up for what she believes in. Her constant turmoil with Sansa stems from the fact that Arya knows Joffrey is a bad person, and resents her sister for not seeing it as well. So Arya makes her own identity for herself. Just like how the classes, research and extra-curricular opportunities, and closeness to professors, define the very identity of the very nature of what Rice University holds dear. The lesson to be learned is not to underestimate the little guys. Yes, Rice isn't Harvard, but it is without a doubt the Harvard of the South. 


Theon Greyjoy

Remember this guy? Yeah . . .
So it is without question that Theon Greyjoy was once a party animal. And what better place for a party animal than USC, itself? After all, the University of Southern California IS a party in it of itself. Forming the backbone of the party scene, the USC frat parties are the predominant driving force of the entire university. Thursday nights are in general, their wildest nights of the week, with anywhere from 5-10 houses throwing the biggest parties in Southern California. But in every fraternity, there is always one house that makes a huge mistake of accepting that one person who – in the long-run – is just a total douchbag. This douchbag, would be Theon Greyjoy. Sure he starts off nice. I mean, when Bran is taken prisoner by the wildlings in the forest near Winterfell, Theon saves him by shooting the wildling leader. Good for him! What are the chances that HE is the person who'd you least expect to be downright awful? Sure, Theon is just a product of a hostage after his homeland of the Iron Islands tried to rebel against Robert Baratheon and Eddard Stark. But I mean, Eddard did a nice thing of making Theon is ward . . . even though, yeah he was kind of still a hostage. But he has always been treated so kindly by the Stark family. They were basically his family, and he and Robb Stark became best buds! Theon did seem to have a relatively normal background as he grew up with the Starks. He was always good enough to hold a conversation, and on the surface, appear to be "just another dude on campus." Until, you know, he suddenly stabs you in the back. And once you have realized that Theon here has betrayed you and your (fraternity) house, you now suddenly recall that Theon did have a slight obsession with that "Rise of an Empire" class of his. But to be fair, you really didn't think nothing of his strange fascination with age-old empires. You just honestly thought that he was a nerd and not some kind of Benedict Arnold. But in the end, he got what he deserved. I guess now for next year's Halloween party, Theon can finally dress up as Justin Timberlake. Why? Because his dick is in a box. 


Joffrey Baratheon

Okay, okay, okay, I know what you're thinking:
Princeton is TOTALLY accurate for Joffrey.
So we can all agree that Joffrey Baratheon (aka, Lannister) is a bastard in more ways than one. Look at that smug little face of his! It's enough to make us want to bitch-slap him. But Tyrion Lannister already did that for us. Thank YOU Tyrion! In any event, Bitch-King here is far more than spoiled. Saying that he's entitled, loathsome, or insufferable, doesn't even cover it. Oh no, he is so much worse than that. He is cruel, sadistic and cowardly. Kind of like the academic system at Princeton. Grated, even though Princeton doesn't resonate THAT extreme to Joffrey's inhuman actions, the college has a way to get under your skin. For starters, the grade-deflation system is a pain in the ass for many Princeton students (like Joffrey). And even when you thought that getting into Princeton was the hardest part, the biggest challenge when you actually arrive to Princeton is competing with the other people who got into Princeton. Once you're in Princeton, you're still competing to be part of certain clubs and spots teams. God, its like competing to become the Hand of the King! So even though Joffrey is King and feels like he is on top of the world, there are plenty of downsides to his reign. The biggest one in particular is the fact that nothing is what it appears to be. Yes, Joffrey does have the appearance of a fairy-tale prince, and yes, Princeton holds its own by being one of the best universities in the nation. But in the end, Joffrey is God-awful and Princeton still pits their students against one another to compete over who is the best. What both King and Princeton need is a little taming. Quick, get Margaery Tyrell on the phone!


Robb Stark

Poor Robb Stark.
He never got to finish college because, well . . . you know why. 

Special thanks to Claire Herlin, Lena Robinson and Emma Blades.